+ Addiction / Dependency

Addiction / dependency is experienced as compulsive, repetitive behaviour, which is carried on despite harmful consequences. It can be based around drink, drugs, food, gambling, sex, porn, and many other substances or behaviours. Addiction / dependency is progressive and insidious, so the earlier an intervention takes place, the better the chances of recovery. I am compassionate, but congruent, firm, and direct. Because significant effort and support is needed to overcome the entrenched denial and compulsions of addiction / dependency, I strongly advocate external support groups to augment the work of the psychotherapy. I believe that abstinence is possible and I will work with you to give you the best chance of recovery.

+ Anxiety

Some amount of anxiety is a natural part of life. It’s normal to look forward, make plans, or anticipate the future. However, sometimes we focus too much on difficult things that might happen and this can overwhelm us. Anxiety can take on a life of its own and negatively impact our thoughts and behaviours. Add Covid-19 to the mix and many of us feel at breaking point. If this is you, speaking to an experienced psychotherapist can help. It will take effort, but it can make a difference!

+ Bereavement & Loss

The death of someone we love can cause us to feel we are being swallowed up from the inside. Deep loss can also be caused by divorce, deteriorating health, redundancy, retirement, miscarriage, or trauma. Any bereavement is an individual process so there is no one way to experience grief. Grieving takes time, so it is important to be patient and compassionate with ourselves. However, if your grief is overwhelming or debilitating, therapy can make life bearable, offering support as you move forward. I will work with you so you are able to experience grief in your own way, without leaving you stuck.

+ Bullying

Bullying can occur within families, in the workplace, or even among friend groups. It usually results in feelings of anger, shame, anxiety, and isolation. When we experience bullying, any of our instinctive ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ responses can kick in to help us survive. Typically, it is the instinctive ‘freeze’ response which causes us so much distress as we criticise ourselves for not responding or blame ourselves for not being able to stop the bullying. Over time, we may internalise the role of victim which impacts our relationships and our sense of who we are.

Experiencing bullying can be traumatic (see Trauma below). I will work with you to deal with the impact of past or current bullying as held in your bodily and emotional memories, to address unhelpful survival habits, and to internalise assertive communication and boundary setting.

+ Couples Issues

Most romantic relationships initially offer love, companionship, and support. Unfortunately, changing personal needs, behaviours, and life’s challenges can result in stress and conflict. Working with me can help you assess the sources of conflict (there is never just one) and improve communication. Most importantly, by being encouraged to express your needs and emotions in a respectful way, you and your partner can identify how you want things to change. This work can allow you both to co-construct a new, healthier way of being together—or identify other options for you both going forward.

+ Covid-19

At this time of Covid-19, people are feeling considerably frazzled. Apart from the stresses of having to share space, work remotely and supervise virtual schools, there are also anxieties about the health of family members, especially those with underlying physical or mental health difficulties, and additional financial worries. In such an environment, it is not surprising that anxiety and distress can overwhelm us.

By paying attention to your bodily sensations as well as emotional and relational experiences, I will work with you to retain your mental clarity and well-being. In this way, your experience of Covid-19 can be altered to allow your sense of your own resilience be restored.

+ Depression

Depression often develops so gradually that we don’t quite understand how it happened. Sometimes underlying low mood can be exacerbated by a life event, such as a death or a break-up. This can cause a loss of hope or a feeling that there is no point in living. When things get to this stage, it may be hard to believe they could ever be different—but there is hope! It can help to express the bleak thoughts that threaten to overwhelm us. I can help you understand what you are experiencing by paying attention to your sense of self in body, mind, and relationships. This work takes time and requires a strong commitment, but change is possible.

+ Eating Disorders

Whenever we eat for reasons other than hunger stimulus (which is most of us at some stage!), we are engaging in a form of disordered eating. Disordered eating becomes an ‘eating disorder’ when we feel compelled to restrict, binge, purge, over-exercise, or achieve emotional regulation by misusing food. We might over-focus on building muscle or engage in other destructive behaviours to achieve an ideal shape or weight. It is critical to realise that no one chooses to develop an eating disorder or to experience the significant emotional, psychological, and physical pain that comes with it. Like all recovery journeys, healing begins by asking for help. I have been there - you don’t need to do this on your own.

+ Sexual Abuse

Any sexual activity that takes advantage or occurs without consent is considered sexual abuse. Sexual abuse can happen with / without force and with / without physical contact. It can be a once-off incident or happen many times. Victims can be of any age with both women and men being affected. It is crucial to realise that no one chooses to be abused. When we experience sexual abuse, our instinctive ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ responses kick in to help us survive. However, very often residual effects still impact us today causing us to struggle with trust, intimacy, socialising, insecurity, addictive behaviours, anxiety, depression, or eating disorders for example. I work with people to help them understand the conditions they are experiencing, take back their power, and choose how they want to move forward with their lives.

+ Social Anxiety

Most of us have experienced social anxiety at some point. However, it becomes a problem when our fear of criticism, humiliation, or rejection makes it hard to do everyday things such as meeting people or speaking out. Blushing, sweating, and trembling can make us feel even worse. I can help you understand the source of this distress. By paying attention to your senses, you can learn about your true self and become more comfortable taking your place in the world.

+ Trauma

Many of us have experienced trauma in our lives which overwhelmed our ability to cope, caused us to feel helpless, abused, or lost or which diminished our sense of ourselves, who we are and how we feel.

Significant traumas can involve one-time events, such as terrorist attack or sexual assault, or more ongoing stressors such as child abuse, neglect or violence. Such events are nearly impossible to overlook but, because their memory is so overwhelming, we continuously avoid thinking about them – and this brings its own difficulties.

However, not all traumatic events are huge – sometimes life events such as financial worries, relationship breakdown, or work issues bring their own trauma. In fact, these smaller events are often overlooked although their impact can be felt relentlessly.

The effects of trauma is different for each one of us depending on our own personal experience of the event and what happened afterwards. For example, when we are comforted by a loving parent after experiencing a sexual assault we have a completely different experience to one where our violation is dismissed and hidden as 'our' own shameful secret.

Research has shown that traumatic memories are held in our bodies and our emotions so that we experience senses for which we have no words or pictures. In fact, we often learn automatic ways of surviving and coping which means that the fear and shame of the past is unconsciously influencing how we experience ourselves today.

There is no quick fixes for the distress associated with trauma - but there is hope and evidence that healing is possible. I will work with you to resolve your bodily and emotional memories; to alter any unhelpful survival habits and defences; and to experience your own resilience and strength in surviving up to now. By striving to integrate your sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, we can work to unblock your natural healing tendency and restore your ability to regulate your emotions.